By definition, self-esteem is the “”confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.””
Self-Esteem can play a significant role in your success and motivation for what’s to come in your life. Low self-esteem can have a negative impact on your goals and ambitions because you do not believe in yourself to be capable of success.
Building self-esteem is crucial. When we learn to love ourselves, we strive for a better life, a happy career, and a positive outlook on life as a whole. The key is to challenge and adjust negative thoughts into positive ones. Learning to value and care for your mind and body through a healthy lifestyle is also important. That being said, it’s certainly possible to improve your self-esteem if you go about it in the right way.
The following points are from the TED Talk “”5 Ways to Build Lasting Self-Esteem”” by Guy Winch, to help nourish your self-esteem when it’s low:
- Use positive affirmations correctly
- Positive affirmations such as ?? am going to be a great success!??are extremely popular, but they have one critical problem ??they tend to make people with low self-worth feel worse about themselves. Why? Because when our self-esteem is low, such declarations are simply too contrary to our existing beliefs. Ironically, positive affirmations do work for one subset of people ??those whose self-esteem is already high. For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change ???? going to be a great success!??to ???? going to persevere until I succeed!??/li>
- Identify your competencies and develop them
- Self-esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of our lives that matter to us. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, throw more dinner parties. If you??e a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. In short, figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
- Learn to accept compliments
- One of the trickiest aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves we tend to be more resistant to compliments ??nbsp;even though that is when we most need them. So, set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments when you receive them, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will). The best way to avoid the reflexive reactions of batting away compliments is to prepare simple set responses and train yourself to use them automatically whenever you get good feedback (e.g., ??hank you??or ??ow kind of you to say??. In time, the impulse to deny or rebuff compliments will fade ??which will also be a nice indication your self-esteem is getting stronger.
- Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
- Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism (which is almost always entirely useless, even if it feels compelling) with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts, and help build it up instead.
- Affirm your real worth
- The following exercise has been demonstrated to help revive your self-esteem after it sustained a blow: Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, if you got rejected by your date, list qualities that make you a good relationship prospect (for example, being loyal or emotionally available); if you failed to get a work promotion, list qualities that make you a valuable employee (you have a strong work ethic or are responsible). Then choose one of the items on your list and write a brief essay (one to two paragraphs) about why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise every day for a week or whenever you need a self-esteem boost.
Self esteem requires a bit of work, as it involves building and maintaining healthier emotional habits. In doing so, especially correctly, will provide a great emotional and physiological return on your investment! YOU ARE WORTH IT!
HAPPY MONDAY, TMS SOLUTIONS!